Summary
Our research indicates that 95% of sexually active couples in relationships recovering from alcoholism experience significant, measurable sexual desire discrepancy.
Research Details
Sexual desire discrepancy is prevalent in romantic relationships throughout our society. Although our case studies indicated a severe prevalence, prior to conducting our study, we were not aware of research examining the degree to which alcoholism exacerbates sexual desire discrepancy.
Our Intimacy Intervention was a twelve month longitudinal study conducted between March 1, 2024 and February 28, 2025. We received confirmed informed consent from 31 individuals (15 couples, and 1 individual whose partner chose not to participate in the study – the 1 individual was not included as partner participation was a condition of inclusion). Two couples dropped out of the study during the course of the year, and their data was not included in research calculations or findings. Thirteen couples (N=26 individuals) completed the study. All participants were recruited from the Stigma program called the Marriagevolution (relationship recovery from alcoholism, peer support), and were familiar with the researchers.
All participants completed a pre-intervention survey, and all participants completed a survey at the end of the 12 month study. In addition, all participants were invited to complete surveys at the end of each quarter (3 months). Participants were instructed to complete all surveys privately and individually, without consultation with their partners. The survey’s gathered demographic information and included scales to assess emotional intimacy (EIS-5), sexual satisfaction (GMSEX-5), relationship satisfaction (GMREL-5), and sexual need/desire (NSIS). Participants were also asked qualitative questions about emotional intimacy, sexual satisfaction, physical intimacy, and trust. Participants were asked about the frequency of sexual activity.
Intimacy Interventions were introduced to the participants each quarter (Q1 – 3 interventions, Q2 – 2 interventions, Q3 – 2 interventions, Q4 – 1 intervention). Participation in the interventions was suggested, but not mandated, and participants answered questions about their engagement with, and the impact of, all eight interventions.
Three couples indicated that they were sexually inactive, leaving us with a sexually active subset of 10 couples (n=20 individuals). The results below are based on the subset of sexually active participants.
Participants were asked about the frequency with with they reject the sexual initiation of their partners, and also the frequency with which their sexual advances are rejected by their partners. The results below were extracted from the pre-intervention surveys.
Eight participants (40%) rejected each other. Nine participants (45%) experienced one-way rejection (they either rejected or were rejected, but not both). Three participants never rejected their partners, nor were rejected by their partners. However, of the 3 “nevers,” 2 (10%) did not initiate sexual activity because of fear of rejection 2 to 3 times per week. Only 1 study participant (5%) never rejected their partner, was never rejected by their partner, and never feared sexual rejection.
Findings
Of sexually active participants, 95% of people in relationships recovering from alcoholism experience significant, measurable sexual desire discrepancy. Eighty-five percent of the couples experience sexual initiation rejections, and ten percent experience a fear of rejection that prevents sexual activity initiation. There is a clear indication that alcoholism exacerbates sexual desire discrepancy in committed partnerships.