Stigma

Emotional Safety is the Most Attractive Attribute

Summary

Statistical findings about attraction and partnership dynamics from before the 2020 COVID pandemic, before widespread use of online dating apps, and before the technology addiction crisis (social media, pornography, other online forums) are no longer relevant. This research is an initial look at the things women and men find attractive and value in a partnership in 2025.

Our research indicates that people are 10x more likely to be attracted to kindness in a potential partner than to the signaling of financial resources. Among young adults, ages 18 to 29 years old, eight women are attracted to kindness for every one woman who is attracted to financial resources. As for the relationship dynamics people are looking for in a romantic partnership, emotional safety is indicated as important more than 4.5x more often than financial security. The gap widens in favor of emotional safety among young adults. Women have gained financial independence, and people, women and men, are no longer looking to romantic relationships to provide financial security.

Emotional Intimacy Improves Sexual Satisfaction

Summary

People who report positive experiences with emotional intimacy in their relationships in recovery from alcoholism have sexual satisfaction scores 40% higher than people who report negative experiences with emotional intimacy.

Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Alcoholic Relationships

Summary

Our research indicates that 95% of sexually active couples in relationships recovering from alcoholism experience significant, measurable sexual desire discrepancy.

Spoken Word Event

Maybe you practice your writing craft at The Story Writing Workshop that we host every Thursday morning from 9am – 10:30am at SAME Cafe (2023 E. Colfax, Denver 80206 – all are welcome). Maybe you are part of another writing group here in Denver. Maybe you write on your own or in school or with a writing partner you can trust. Maybe you don’t write, but you appreciate the artful arrangement of words offered by others. No matter what your story is, you are invited!

The Story Open Mic at The Tattered Cover Bookstore, Thursday, June 13th from 6pm to 7:30pm

Open Mic at Tattered Cover

At The Story Writing Workshop that we host every Thursday morning from 9am – 10:30am at SAME Cafe (2023 E. Colfax, Denver 80206 – all are welcome), there has been a common theme lately when writers read their stories. “You should read that one at the open mic.” Our writers have been churning out some masterful storytelling lately. We are ready for another opportunity to share. How about you?

The Story Open Mic at The Tattered Cover Bookstore, Thursday, March 28th from 6pm to 7:30pm

Stories that Bridge the Divide

At our last The Story Open Mic Night back in April, the last two performers were a stand-up comedian in her 80s, and a teenage singer. The comedian was really funny, and she shared that she had never found her joke-telling voice before that night. She got a roaring round of applause at the end of her set, but the most heart-warming congratulations she received was in the form of a hug from the woman in her teens who bravely sang to an audience much older than her. They embraced, and the gap between them melted away.

What’s your story?

There is nothing more important, to our societies and to us as individuals, than storytelling.

Do you enjoy telling or hearing a good, maybe slightly inappropriate, joke at a party? Everyone should know about the dog in Crested Butte that walks around the downtown upright on his hind legs. Of course, there might be no more sacred advice in our shared cultural conscious than that stuff about those who forget the past being doomed to repeat it.

And now as computers are being coded to start telling stories, the art of authentic human storytelling is more important than ever. Folk rock singer and songwriter, Brandi Carlile, reminds us of how important it is to see and be seen as part of experiencing our shared stories. “All of these lines across my face tell you the story of who I am.”

Our Stories Connect Us

I recently watched a news story about an 84-years-running Harvard study about happiness. I was not surprised to learn that money, power, fame, material stuff, and social status are not indicators of happiness (in fact there is evidence that the opposite is true). What is the one thing that happy people have in common?

The Story Spoken Word Event

We all know that, “what goes up, must come down,” but do you know that the opposite is also true? The stuff we push down is coming up and out sooner or later. You can let it out in a healthy way with a supportive and empathetic group of people thirsty for stories about the human experience, or you can keep pushing those toxins down, and let them boil over on their own terms. If there is one thing I know above all else it is the healing power of vulnerable story telling.

Today is Rolling Suitcases Day

Here in Denver, today is widely recognized as “Colorado Gives Day.” It is the end of the tax year, and we are thankful for the efforts of an organization named, “Colorado Gives,” for helping remind our neighbors about all of the worthy nonprofit organizations we have in this state. Not only do they remind, but they consolidate. They make it easy to go to their website, and donate to thousands of nonprofits. We are proud to be one of them.

They call today, “Colorado Gives Day.” Here at Stigma, we call it, “Rolling Suitcases Day.” We are (kind of desperately) hopeful that this is the day we raise enough money to purchase the rest of the rolling suitcases we need to meet the demand at Christmas in the Park on December 25th.